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Confession

 I've never had anyone who desired me romantically. Ever since I knew what crushes were, I've had countless crushes on different boys. They didn't even have to be particularly good-looking -- I've had crushes on boys who had simply said 'hi' to me or just be a kind person. In primary school, I feel like I switched crushes every few days. Of course, children get crushes all the time. The thing is that I've never been on the receiving end of one -- from back then until now.  I've always thought that it was because I didn't fit the beauty standard in Malaysia -- fair-skinned, large doe eyes, a petite figure. I was tan, with smaller eyes, and I was self conscious about my crooked teeth. The friends I made growing up all seemed to fit the beauty standard in some way. I always thought that in every friend group I was in, I would be the ugliest and therefore be able to make my friends look prettier. My best friend growing up seemed to have interested boys a...
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Self-reflections

 Hello. It's been a while since I last came here, huh?  I used to love writing a lot. When I was younger, me and my siblings had to fight over whose turn it was with my mom's laptop, which she mostly used for work. On that laptop, I played pirated Pokemon games with emulators, surfed the web, played flash games on Facebook, and wrote. But the period I wrote the most was when I got my own laptop --- a gift from my mother for getting a good results in my UPSR exams. It was a cheap laptop, pink in color, and I loved it. The first thing I checked to see was if it had Microsoft Word installed. I was immediately heartbroken when there wasn't, and begged my mom to have it installed. In the meantime, I wrote on the default note application, wistfully thinking that I could have been able to access so many tools in the Microsoft Word application.  A while later, Word was installed in my little cheap pink laptop. I was thrilled, and I remember spending most of my time writing. Fanfi...
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Update

 I'm currently a UiTM student! Hahaha I always forget that I have this blog going so it's a pretty empty space now. Currently sitting with a friend while doing work. I have a manga open in my phone and 10242197412 more after it lol. Addicted to reading them these days. My roommate is in her final semester so this coming month or so will be the last I will see of her. She's super cute and nice and very kind. She loves cats and calls her family often; they're an endearingly rowdy bunch. I ate a lot today. But I skipped breakfast (accidentally) so I suppose I can excuse my heavy lunch. But the waffles that I ate afterwards are definitely pure self-indulgence on my part. I should probably save up money... I know a little bit of the campus roads now. I thought it would be hard to adjust but after a few trips around it becomes easier to navigate, and I'm a little more confident in my sense of direction. That's it for now. I'll see you soon!
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jades

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cursed

 i hate cursed audio in google meet TT it's so horrible currently having introductions in class but i can barely makeout the words
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regret.mp3

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  i feel like im wasting time lol i know that im still young and i can change courses once im done but idk, i just feel so out of depth ;-;
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stuff i want to try out

 yooo these new adobe apps are really cool :D it makes me want to learn lots of stuff! like coding websites, editing videos, animation... there's so much i want to learn and try out. maybe i should look up courses on them sometime, they're really interesting! also i should probably get back to that sketchup class thingy... i've left it on hold for quite a while.
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